Vernon C. (Vick) Kelly, Jr., M.D. is a board certified psychiatrist, author, and educator who has lectured nationally and internationally integrating affect and script theories into a variety of topics, including childhood trauma, restorative practice, psychotherapeutic interventions with individuals and couples, and emotional intimacy. His psychiatric practice in suburban Philadelphia focuses on the biopsychosocial forces behind affect and emotion that create problems for children, adolescents, adults, families and couples. He cofounded the non-profit educational organization the Silvan S. Tomkins Institute with Donald L. Nathanson, M.D. in 1991 and is currently Chairman Emeritus of that organization. He is a life member of the American Psychiatric Association and a Fellow of the College of Physicians of Philadelphia. He is a past member of the Board of the Australian based organization Restorative Practices International. Click here to purchase The Upside of Shame: Therapeutic Interventions Using the Positive Aspects of a “Negative” Emotion (New York: Norton) was co-authored with psychologist Mary Lamia, Ph.D. For U.S. customers only, get a 20% discount and free shipping by using the code: UPSHAMEVK.
Dr. Kelly has authored or co-authored three books that expand upon American psychologist Silvan S. Tomkins’s multifaceted theory of human personality development. His current book The Upside of Shame: Therapeutic Interventions Using the Positive Aspects of a “Negative” Emotion (New York: Norton) was co-authored with psychologist Mary Lamia, Ph.D. Intended primarily for psychotherapists, this book presents the concept that shame has an evolved function of critically positive importance in personality development and in the understanding and treatment of personality disorders, in spite of that fact that it can also have seriously deleterious effects. His first book The Art of Intimacy and the Hidden Challenge of Shame introduced the same concept based on his work treating troubled couples. The utility of shame in the field of restorative practices was also highlighted in his book co-edited with Margaret Thorsborne The Psychology of Emotion in Restorative Practice: How Affect Script Psychology Explains How and Why Restorative Practice Work (London: Jessica Kingsley).
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Thanks for bringing us Dr Kelly’s very interesting points of view on a subject that is very prominent in my mind and in popular psychology circles. It seems like the title of his book is targeted to elicit strong emotions in potential readers. My emotion was “shame on him” to imply that shame has a positive value. It mostly seems like Dr Kelly is saying the upside is just to be aware of it and the important part it plays in mental illness and relationship difficulties.
At risk of sounding like I am shaming Dr kelly’s theories, I have some semantic beefs with what he discussed with you. He didn’t mention guilt, which I think accounts for the less damaging aspects of what he called shame. Guilt is an attitude that says something I have done is bad or wrong. Others have said that guilt is helpful in many cases. In the case of 12 step programs, guilt would be the correct name for the remorse one could feel for the things they did while being visited by the spirit of addiction. As for using the name shame for an emotion and the body posture one associates with it, I prefer the name submission for that body response.
All in all, I found a lot less argument with Dr Kelly than I expected from the provocative title of his book.