#498 – Duct Tape Parenting with Vicki Hoefle

Vicki Hoefle

From the bio on her website: Helping thousands of families for over two decades, Vicki Hoefle shares her parenting tips and techniques across the country. She combines expertise in Adlerian Psychology with a suite of actionable, time-tested tools. Her informative and highly engaging presentation style keeps her in demand as a speaker, facilitator and educator.

A master story-teller who is part comedian, part sage, mostly parent, Vicki offers ways to strengthen and enhance the parent-child relationship and bring out the best in each parent, the best in each child, and the best in each encounter. Vicki Hoefle leads parent education programs nationwide. It’s not about the latest quick-fix discipline strategy, sticker-chart or trying to become the perfect parent. It’s about developing relationships that will last a life time.

Vicki Hoefle’s parenting philosophy suggests parents take one step to the side and half a step back: parents should stay out of the way but not completely out of sight. Her new book, THE STRAIGHT TALK ON PARENTING: A No-Nonsense Approach on How to Grow a Grown-Up (Bibliomotion, April 21, 2015) shows the ease and value of parenting with the future in mind.

The prospect of raising an adult while living with a toddler can sometimes seem counter-intuitive, however Hoefle’s philosophy and associated strategies allow parents to reconcile these two very important roles. Using over twenty-five years of experience as a parent educator, and as a mother of six, Hoefle has created a straightforward method to help parents foster independence in children of all ages. Her four-step approach is designed to raise children with the skills and experience to can grow into happy, confident, secure, resilient, responsible, compassionate, and hardworking adults.

Her first book, Duct Tape Parenting (August, 2012) is a witty, straight-shooting parenting book to help parents build a solid relationship with their kids, to improve children’s behavior and decision-making, and to prepare kids to steer their own futures— while laughing a little along the way.
Vicki is also the founder of Parenting On TrackTM, a proactive, sustainable parenting program that provides parents with tools to create a respectful and peaceful family life. This program was recently awarded “Seals of Approval” from both PTPA (Parent Tested, Parent Approved) Media Inc., and from The Baby Planners and is now offered as a six week course or two day workshop, Growing a Grownup.”

Vicki Hoefle is a parent; mom to six beautiful children. Her first concern is her family, her second is the well-being of yours. Vicki is like your smartest, tell-it-like-it-is neighbor, encouraging you to trust your instincts.
Vicki knows being a parent is not easy even on a good day. On a bad day parenting can be the ultimate challenge to mind, body and spirit. Her mission is to empower and encourage parents so they can parent with confidence and enthusiasm.
Vicki’s parenting philosophy and approach to raising “thinking” children, does not include “getting children” to comply or using so-called “discipline” strategies (which include nagging, reminding, lecturing, bribing, counting and time-outing) for dealing with pesky behaviors.
Grounded in Adlerian theory, her entire approach focuses on these simple, yet powerful principles
● Focus on individual and family strengths 

● Establish a Democratic Parenting Style 

● Build a sense of community 

● Support personal freedom and responsibility 

● Encourage participation, self-reliance and independence 

● Foster mutual respect 

● Invite cooperation 


Her strategies work for every family, whether you have young children and are just starting the parenting journey, beginning to experience the first challenges of raising children in the 21st century or you’re facing crisis, stress or the effects of divorce. Vicki inspires REAL families and shows them how to spend their time and energy investing in the relationship, to get on track with what is important and experience the joy of living in a healthy, loving family. 


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copyright 2015: David Van Nuys, Ph.D.

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One Comment

  1. Rich
    Posted March 17, 2016 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    Nice interview. Duck tape Parenting might be a good book for me to get since I will be doing my field placement for my MSW program with my state social services agency next fall and spring semesters. I wonder if Vicki’s book has a chapter for dads who get it but find the mom doesn’t. When she says “why do I have to be the bad cop?”, the dad is thinking “yeah I wonder since we never agreed to do a good cop, bad cop routine”.